12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Phool Dia
Ladki Ne KISS Dia
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga
Ladki Ne Pucha- Kya Hua
Ladka- Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu.
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Ultimate Truth:
If Girl Fails In S.S.C
Then Directly Marriage...
If Boy Fails In S.S.C
Then Directly Garrage...
Funny..
But
True....!
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Biwi- Aji suniye jab apne pehli bar mera
Ghungat uthaya tha to kaisa laga tha?
Pati- khuda ki Qasam agar AYATUL-KURSI
yaad na hoti to wahi mar jata.!!
==============================
I was in an Auto when the Driver said : "I love this job!! I'm my own Boss and Nobody tells me what to do.."
then i replied,
"Aage se left le..huh";-)
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coliflwr: M not hpy , I luk like a brain.
Ladyfinger:i luk lik finger of ladies..
Mushroom:I luk like an umbrella..
Banana; can V pls change d topic!!...
==============================
Girl Friend - Aaj Me Tumhe Wo Jagah Dikhaungi Jaha Mera Apendix Ka Operation Hua Hai,
Boy Friend - Get Excited,
GF-Ye Dekho GUPTA NURSING HOME !
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Boy got Rejected & Girl got Selected in interview for the same reason...
Think...??
Reason: They both had 1st Button of their shirts opened...
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Usne kaha mohabbat ki saza do mujhe
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Maine ja kar uske papa ko sab bata diya
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Pit gayi bechari..
Pani me gira Rumal,
to
Rumal geela hai,
Aasman me dekha,
to
Aasman bhi neela he,
Mohabbat to
Sab karte hai par>>
ME KARUN TO SALA CHARACTER DHEELA HAI...
===========================
MOST IRRITATING FACTS::->
4 dose who r at home:
U Study for 3 hrs no one sees u..
.
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When pick up d mobile for a sec
.
mom/dad entrs d room nd say bilkul padai ni karte................
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4 dose who r in hostel:
Hav mob for 3 hrs no 1 sees u..
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pick up d book for a sec
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Frendz entrs d room n say 'kitna padega Einstien ki aulad...pagal ho jayega...'
Dedicated to all hostelites...:-)
==========================
Shadi me dulhan ko ghungat me kyu rakha jata h?
nai pata
socho socho!
taki kisi k muh se ye na nikal jaye ki
"abe ye to meri wali thi"
======================
Wanna make money through Facebook...??
Go to: Account- account settings- De-activate your Account and Start Working...!
==============
In 1980,IDBI bank rejected loan 4 Ambani.:(Now in 2010 Mukesh Ambani planning 2 buy IDBI bank.:)Dis shows nothing is Imposible.Now in 2011, SBI Bank rejected loan for me.:( But in 2025, I'l b planing 2..
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apply 4 loan again.B'coz it is Govt bank, v can't buy.
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BEFORE MARRAIGE
Boy: I've been waitng for this day
Girl: U want me to leave
B: No
G: Do you love me
B: Ofcourse
G: Will u ever cheat me
B: Never in my life
G: Will you hug me
B: Every chance i get
G: Will you hit me
B:R u crazy
G:Can I trust you
B:Yes
G:Sweetheart
After Marriage
Read back wards.
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Elction tym:
Giv nitish kumar nxt 5yrs, he'il MAKEbihar lik Singapore
Giv Yediyurappa nxt 5yrs, Yediyurappa & family wil BUY Singapore!
====================
Mr bean ek ghar k niche khada "su-su" kar raha tha, Upar se ek lady boli-
dikhta nahi hai, deewar hai!
Bean bola
thoda side
se dekho, dikh jayega..!
====================
A drunk guy falls 4m 1st floor.
People gathered arund n askd him wat happnd?
He said..."I don't knw, I also came down Jus now
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A thief enterd a house & by mistake kickd a steel bucket
House Ownr:Kaun hai?
Thief:Meaow
Oner:Kaun?
Thief:Meeao
Oner:Are kaun?
Thief:Billi hun re haramkhor
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Boy while "Ki$$ing his Gf-
Thanx baby,apna chewingGum mujhe dene k liye.
Girl: Chewing gum nahi hai my luv,
I'm suffering from cough.!!
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JOB vacancy IN BSNL
Send ur Details to career@bsnl.in
Last Date-31/5/2011
Salry-3.6 lac p.a.
.
.
Job profile-
"Tower Pe Baith Ke Kavvon Ko Hatana"
=====================
Most STUPID qstns ppl ask me in obvious situatns..
1.At movies:hey! Wht r u doin here?
Me:wel..I am slepng ovr here..der is no AC at home:-D,
2.In bus:heavy weightd aunty steps on my feet n said..sory did dat hurt?
Me:Not at all, m on local anesthesia. Y dnt u try again?
3.Whn i gt woken up at midnyt by a call: sory, wr u slpng?
Me:Nai to.. Abhi to raat ke 2 hi baje h..itne jaldi koi sota h kya..?%-)
4.Wn they c me wd shortr hair they ask: hv u had a haircut?
Me:Nah! Its autumn. My hair's shedding.
5.Wn smone cal on landline n ask whr r u?
Me:M in markt wid d landline arund my neck..B-)!!
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Girl:Muje kahi mehnghi jagha pe ghumane le jav na..
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Boy: chal, taiyaar ho ja...!
Petrol pump chalenge..
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Techr:How Many Months R
There In A Year
Kid:12
T:Wow..How
Do U Know
kid:12 Mahine Me
12 Tarike Se TujKo
Pyar JatauGa Re
DHINKA CHIKA DHINKA CHIKA.
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Height Of BACK ANSWERING
Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson?
Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation???
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Tch-AKBAR kon tha?
Std-Pta nhi
Tch-Padai pe dhyan do to pta chale
St-sir,mohit kon hai?
Tch-Pta Nahi
St-Apni beti pe dhyan do to pta chale?
===================
Santa: Tere Ghar Se Ek Ladki Mujhe Khidki
Ke Pichhe Se Rumal Se Ishara Karti Hai.
Banta: Wo Naukrani Hai Jo
Khdki Ke Shishe Saaf Karti Hai..
==================
Tchr:"Whoever answer next question correctly can go home."
suddenly a bag was thrown...
Tchr:Who throw the bag?
DEEPAK:Me, I am going.
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Principal: what u want 2becom in future?
Student: After studyin MBBS, I want to join Police force n gt good job in a good software company nd work as lawyer n construct big buildings n conduct research n become actor.
Principal: Hey,Wat's ur name?
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Student: Rajnikant!
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Sardarji: Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai?
Salesman; Ham Sardaro Ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte.
Sardar After 1 week with clean Shaved face: Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai...
Salesmn: Hm Srdaron ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte..
Sardar After 1 Months Full angrez bnke WHAT'S D COST OF DAT TV...? Salsman: Hm Sardaron ko Koi Chiz Nahi Bechte
Sardar Gusse Me: Tujhe har baar Kaise Pata Chal Jata Hai K main Sardar Hoon...?
Salesman- Kyonki Ye Tv Nhi "MICROWAVE OVEN" Hai..
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Santa Ko chana khata dekh..
Banta- Tu pichle janam me Ghoda tha kya?
Santa- Tu kya kha raha He?
Banta-Biscuit.!!
Santa-Tu pichle janam me Kutta Tha kya
==============================================
maths sir: what is a 'line'?
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a genius answered:
a line is a dot, going for a walk..
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He Broke Her Heart..
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And she Broke His iphone 4G..
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I think We All Know Who Cried HArder..
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Boy-Apka Naam Kya He
Girl-Pehan K Batau Ya DikhaKar
Boy-Kya Matlab?
Girl-PAYAL
Girl-Or Apka?
Boy-Lekar Batau Ya Dekar?
Girl-Matlab?
Boy-PAPPI:D:*
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The only thing we learn in college during serious lectures is...
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typing msgs without looking at d phone!
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Ye hoti h asali dosti..
1 dost ne apne dost ko adhi raat ko fone kia aur bola:
Yaar me ro raha hu..;-(
Dost ne kaha.
Bhad me ja.
Me so raha hu.
==========
A Boy tuk a buk frm college library's shelf 2 study.
All othr books fell on him & he died.
Moral- zara si over acting apki jaan b le sakti hai
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A boy disturbs a girl at bus stop-
Girl: Dont u hv a mom/sister at home.?
Boy:No
Girl:To Ghar le chalna pagal, Yaha Timepas kyu kr raha hai...
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Madam to student: u scored zero.
Student proudly moves his hand through his hairs...
Madam: idiot! U scored zero marks, not zero DANDRUFF.
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Boy: U r sunshine of my life
without U life is cloudy
U r in my heart like rainy water 4 barren land
Girl: Janu! Is it proposal or weather report?
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Teacher to mechanical student-NAADE ko english me kya kehte hai?
Student-P.H.D.
Teacher-Woh kaise?
Student-Pyjama Holding Device.
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Student ki notebook ke last page par kya milega??
1.love ke % check karne vali game.
2.Pen ko chalane k liye kiye gaye try..
3.silent clas me bat karne ke liye likhi gayi batein.
4.aadha page ftaa hua.
5.exams k liye imps.
6.cross v/s zero game.
7.vacation me kya kya karna he uski list.
N importantly
8.Apna sign wid diffrent typs..
Student life.. Unforgettable part of life.. :):-)
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A famous Chartered Accountant in a big firm had a very strange habit. Every morning, he used to open his drawer, look at a piece of paper, & then lock the drawer again. The trainees were very curious & thought that he had the secret of his success in that drawer. So one day, when the CA was out, the trainees decided to break it open.
When they broke open the lock & took out the paper, they found written on it...
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"Left is debit, right is credit"
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Height of Over LoVe:
A Boy Doesn't Chat With His Girl Friend,
Bcoz He Feels that Her Hand Might Pain while Typing the Text.!!
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Dad-Xm Kesa Hua?
Son-Q.no.1 Chhut Gaya,
Q3 Ata Ni Tha,
Q4 Krna Bhul Gya,
Q5 Nazar Ni Aya.
Dad (Gusse Me:)-Aur Qno.2?
Son-Bas Wahi Galat Ho gaya:-D
=================
Lalu goes to Obama's house.
Lalu: How did you construct such a huge & beautiful house?
Obama: Can u see a bridge there?
Lalu: Yes
Obama: I built my house using the commission from the bridge construction.
Obama came to Lalu's house.
Obama: Your house is much bigger and costlier than mine.
How did u build it?
Lalu: Can u see a bridge there?
Obama: No i dont
Lalu: thats bcoz i used that money to build my house...
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A mind blowing fact:
No matter whether guys buy 220cc Pulsar or 350cc Royal Enfield
It cannot overtake a beautiful gal on 80cc Scooty:-)
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2 Lady fightng 4a seat both claimig they came 1st
Condctor-Lady who is more Aged shud sit here
Both lady Luked At Each oder & seat remaind Empty..
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Behosh Aadmi ko dekh kar
Dr: Ye mar Chuka hai
Tabhi Aadmi bola: Mai Zinda hun
Admi ki biwi boli: Tum chup raho ji,
Itna bada Dr kya Jhut bolega...
=============
Shahjahan ne Taj Mahal ki har deewar ko dekha, Har meenar ko dekha, har kaaleen ko dekha, Har dar aur deewar ko dekha, Har lage huey khambe ko dekha, Har khidki se dekha, aur bola, (guess .kya bola hoga???
MAA KASAM!!! BAHUT KHARCHA HO GAYA!!!
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Boy-Apka Naam Kya He
Girl-Pehan K Batau Ya DikhaKar
Boy-Kya Matlab?
Girl-PAYAL
Girl-Or Apka?
Boy-Lekar Batau Ya Dekar?
Girl-Matlab?
Boy-PAPPI..
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"New Economic Analysis:
Its Better To Have A Long Distance
Relationship Because STD Rates Are Much Lower Than Fuel Rates..
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Q. Define LOVE n explain details.
(10 mrks)
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Ans. Definition:
A serious disorder of heart due 2 relatnshp btwn men & women dat cn cause death of 1 or both dpndng on d resistance associated.
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TYPES:
1sided & 2 sided
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AGE:
Usually occurs in teenages but nowdays can be found in any age!
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SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
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DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile
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TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoes/Mother's chappal..
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Bv-Maine ap k B'day pr itni Mehngi Chiz kharidi h k ap dekhteHi khush ho jaoge
Pati-Shukra h Tuje mera khyal to aya Dikhao
Bv-Abi pehan k ati hu.
============
Behosh Aadmi ko dekh kar
Dr: Ye mar Chuka hai
Tabhi Aadmi bola: Mai Zinda hun
Admi ki biwi boli: Tum chup raho ji,
Itna bada Dr kya Jhut bolega...
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Girl's TOP 12 lies
1.Im single.
2.I don drink/smoke.
3.Mai pehli baar kisi ladki k liye itna serious hua hu
4.Woh meri behan jaisi hai.
5.Ur eyes r so beautiful.
6.Yar wo ladki mere piche padi hui thi.
7.M nt lyk othr guys.
8.Ur smile..wow!
9.U r d 1st n d last gal in ma lyf
10.i'l nevr make u cry
11.i can't live without u.
12.N mst imp Of all-I Luv U baby..
=================
"Height of studying
If somebody asks you 'whats your name ?'
& You reply
'for how many marks.?'
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LIFE IS LIKE A DOG
School lyf=Paltu kutte
College lyf=Awara KUTTE
Service Lyf=Khujli wale Kutte
Married LiFe=Wafadar kutte
Old Age= Pehredar Kutte
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